It's goodbye

I's time to say goodbye yet I cant cry

I wonder why but I want to cry too

I really wonder what is wrong with me.

Not being able to see him in the face and

ask him..

"Do you hate me?"

I really wished he have like me but I know it was impossible.

It's better this way because..

this way, I dont need to hear those words from his own mouth..

"I don't like you a single bit. I hate you"

because it hurts even more..

I'll try to stop thinking of you but...

I still can't stop loving you.

I thought you understand

sorry but i only remember the chorus part of my song. enjoy.

I thought you believe me

but you didn't at all

instead you believe her...

I thought they understand me

but they didn't at all

and so I was alone..

so that's the end...

heart broken?

I have always been there

yet no one ever notice me..

I tried being stupid but it lasted for a day..

you were the first to make me think that going to school was fun

you were the first to make me feel warm

laugh till i cry and even to love..

When I wanted you to be there,

you were gone..

When I started to hate you,

you came back making me fall in love with you again..

Is this a dream or a reality?

Every time I close my eye to hear your words,

I see that image..

A image that I really want it to happen..

I always thought that you were an angel

an angel that can make me fly free

but it was all a dream..

I start my day by thinking of you

I think of your smile and your annoyed face

they all make me smile

I wonder if it's just me or are you in my mind all the time..

I tried confessing but it didn't work..

I tried telling you that you shouldn't judge a person that way

but you just told me off

Did I fall in love with you or just your smile face?

I close my eye thinking that you will care

but it was just an act,

you never cared about me..

I cry and cry till it was dawn

wishing that this would not happen again

but I knew wishing was useless..

will my wish come true?

Wishing with all my might,

I wish you'll be close to me

That wish came true but at the wrong time..

you were too close to me

that my friends hated me..

I thought you cared but you never cared at all...

kk. I know the ending part sux but I cant thing of anything better because I keep on laughing about the 'fart' thing that my friend and i chat about.

He love me?!

It's been so long since I have post a post here.

I'll type about the recent stuff.

A guy name Matt likes me and I hate him well..

not really hate him just that i dont like him.

and on 19 november, we went to snow city to have our graduation party.

he started throwing snow balls at me so i throw the snowman's head at him.

when I was tired, i sit on the snow and..

matt: oi! *throw a snowball at me*

me: i'm tired. stop it.

matt: wat? afraid? try throwing a snowball at me then.

me; fine! if I get to throw a snowball at you, you have to give up on me!

And so I did but guess wat he say?

matt: i'll give up on you but i will still love you.

urgh... fell like vomitting..

so gross!!!

even oshi was angry. good thing i throw a snowball at oshi before he punches matt.

For some reasons.. i get the feeling that matt is like a stalker.

well, who cares. after today, i wont be seeing him.

but..

I'm kinda sad that I wont have anyone to argue with like HIM.

anyways, bye!

A bad and terrible day

1 November 2010

Today, I realised that I wasn't good enough to even talk about them.
I was just there as an entertainer once more.
They never wanted me there.
I guess.. I'll just quit.
It's stupid of me to continue when no one wants me there.
It hurts.. I really don't know..
Even the one I thought I could trust once again,
hates me.. I no longer know what I'm here for...
Was it my fate to end up like this or is it because,
I wanted it to end up this way?
It wasn't their fault, instead, it is mine.
If I told them the truth, will they care?
if I told them I'll quit, will they care?
I guess not..
I know them too well that I shouldn't even need to ask.
But.. I really want to take part.......
I hate myself.